I’m in an interesting phase lately: I was raised Jewish but I find myself going to Christian services and listening to Christian pastors on youtube like Steven Furtick and Craig Groeschel. Although I can’t really relate to the religious aspect of any religion, I’m drawn to the message of what comes through. And as Abraham Hicks has taught me, if it feels right then it is right.

After taking a year off from medical school, I’m continuing now with a new class. When I left last year, I was leaving an amazing support system — friends I felt really comfortable around.

And maybe my priorities have changed — maybe getting older is getting to my head — but I really prefer my own company, and occasionally, the deep conversation with a friend I knew from last year.

I’m definitely a lot more quiet, socially, than I once was. And yet, I feel so connected to my soul and to God/Source/Spirit — however you refer to the divine energy that is accessible within each of us. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been more reclusive — it’s like I’m trying not to lose myself in the physical world and retain my connection to a deeper knowing that there’s more to life than small talk.

I know that right now, I’m meant to stay hyperfocused on school and the medical clubs I’m part of. And one day, I will feel ready again to step outside of myself and share from a place of a solid foundation of knowledge — both academic knowledge AND mind/body/soul knowledge.

I’ve noticed throughout my life that we all go through these phases where we are the student and then phases where we are the teacher. Right now I’m meant to just listenTo just stay connected to the deeper reason of why I’m even IN medical school. You know?

That’s what I’m finding in these sermons right now–the connection to something of substance, to something real, to something that makes all the cells in my body respond. After all, that’s what the human experience is really about for me.

Perhaps the reason I’m sharing this is because–it’s like it’s popping out and in my face, shouting: “WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING HERE IN MEDICAL SCHOOL? GIVE ME THE REAL REASON YOU’RE IN MEDICAL SCHOOL.”

And then I look internally and I ask myself the same question: What’s the real reason I’m in medical school?

Is it really a higher calling I’m responding to?

Is it to satisfy society? My family? My parents? Is it to prove to the world that I am worthy, that I can be somebody? 

But no. That’s not what it is for me.

For me, medical school allows me to connect to something deeper than what I’ve been offered so far in life. It’s bringing back that awareness to what’s going on internally — on a physiological level, biochemical level, psychological level, and spiritual level.

And when I attend the Christian services and talk to Christian students here at my school — it’s like they know that they know that they KNOW that there is something deeper going on. And for them, they connect through Jesus. For me, I connect through God/divine energy. But we’re really talking about the same thing — connection to something more meaningful than what is being offered in our physical reality.

 

See, I try to avoid small talk in the moments when others need to avoid a silence they feel uncomfortable in. Usually in these moments, I try and make others laugh. There’s a deeper connection share through humor than a connection shared in forced conversation.

So what are we really in medicine for? What are we doing every day besides studying that’s giving us the credibility we need to be responsible for the lives of others? To lead others to a better quality of life?

‘Til next time,

-M

 

 

 

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